Gina Mollicone Long | The Blog
14 September 2006
DESPAIR
There was a massacre in Montreal (again) today. I don't read the news or watch the media because I find that it negatively affects me. My reasoning is that if something big enough happens then I will undoubtedly find out about it. That is what exactly happened today. I found out about a tormented 25-yr old who made the choice to shoot other people. After the initial shock, anger and horror wore off, I reflected on this incident. I tried to understand HOW BAD his life must have been for him for him to make this choice. I can't imagine. Out of that space for relating my life to his, I was able to create compassion. Sometimes I think my life is really hard. Sometimes I complain about the difficulties I face or the incidents that occur in my life. Sometimes I feel downright hopeless. Yet I do not make the same choice that he did. So, for him, his experience of his life must have been EVEN WORSE than "my worst day ever". I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. He must have been suffering at such a level that his only escape was death. I cried. I cried for my responsibility in being part of a world where a fellow human being is allowed to sink so low and slip through our "collective cracks". I cried for my own apathy in not always standing in my integrity when it is challenged for the things that I believe are important in healing our planet. I cried because I know that he is not the only one who is suffering and more "hate" or "retaliation" will not solve this problem. The only thing that will help is love and forgiveness. Everything else will be destructive. Today I will stand for love despite the challenges that come my way. Today, I will not waiver.
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