DO SOMETHING SCARYEveryday. I believe Eleanor Roosevelt said that. It's a great motto. I consciously chose to follow it the other day. We were at Family Camp in Algonquin Park. They have a high ropes course. I signed up for it.
For those of you who don't know me, I am terribly afraid of heights. In fact, a famed
bungee jump in New Zealand in 2001 can be viewed right off my website. This high ropes course was no pushover. Over 40 feet in the air.
When I arrived, there was no one there except the instructors and my husband Andrew. The instructor said "Oh good, there are no kids yet, you can do the rickety bridge". It looks exactly as it sounds. A bridge suspended high in the air at 40 feet above the ground - it was basically two cables with the odd piece of broken wood attached to it. It looked like it came straight out of a mining hillbilly movie.
I gear up and begin the 40 foot climb. When I get up there I am tethered to the safety rope that is being belayed by a woman who could not weigh more than 120lbs. Suffice to say that I weigh substantially more than that. How the hell could she hold me up? I would soon find out.
I began walking this stupid bridge and the fear flooded me like a poison. So much so that it completely halted me at exactly half way. I was stuck, shaking and scared to death. I muttered the horrid words "I can't". At this point both instructors joined in to help me. The girl on the ground showed me that I could trust her. The guy on the other side kept telling me to look at him and not the ground and do it one step at a time. I realized that "can't" was not an option because going back would be even harder than going forward. So, I took a DEEP breath and focused on the guy. I reminded myself that I WAS SAFE even though I appeared NOT SAFE. The scene was deceiving. I was very safe. I made it to the other side but I wasn't finished yet. I still had to get down on the ZIP line. I found this even scarier than the stupid bridge. I had to JUMP off a platform and glide down to the ground. You would not believe how scary it is to JUMP off a platform even though you KNOW you are connected to the wire. After a few countdowns and some MORE support I finally took the plunge. I think I uttered a
meek "mommy" when I jumped. I guess you never really outgrow that.
What I learned after the experience was this:
- When you are scared you need to pause, breathe and remind yourself that you are safe - this is called "TAKING CARE OF YOU"
- When you are scared it is important to let the people around you HELP YOU, especially if they offer it. But, if they don't, then you need to ask for help. This is called "LETTING GO OF CONTROL".
It works, I swear. I have experienced a huge energy jump since that day. Facing fear is a freeing experience. And yes, I am STILL afraid of heights.
